Changed Name of post to include another joke. To lazy to start new one. hehe



The Pentagon has announced the formation of a new elite fighting unit, The U.S. Redneck Special Forces!

This new unit is comprised of soldiers from the southern most states of the U.S.

These elite soldiers will be dropped into Iraq and Afghanistan and given only the following information about their enemy:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Baby Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

War should be over in a couple weeks.

_________________
SFC
Michael Larson
Minnesota-USA

A03/TQ1.0.92141E1

From most of the videos I've seen, they are already over there aren't they?

_________________
Martin 'Victim' Victory
A86/TQ3.4.49421E3
UKCM 13th Regt. 1st Batt. Freebooters


you can't take the PUNK outa Spunkmeyer

Redeck or not.......god speed to all our fighting men and women over there.

But yep, remove the current restrictions and replace with those....would be a lot easier (innocent civilians removed first ofcourse)

_________________

Lawyer vs Redneck

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lawyer and a redneck are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer asks if the redneck would like to play a fun game.

The redneck is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. 'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.

This catches the redneck's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the earth to the moon?'

The redneck doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five dollar bill, and hands it t o the lawyer.

Now , it's the redneck's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill wi th three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Air phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the redneck and hands him $500.

The redneck pockets the $500 goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the redneck up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The redneck reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

_________________
SFC
Michael Larson
Minnesota-USA

A03/TQ1.0.92141E1

Thats a good one!

_________________

A guy walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to a blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looks at the guy and says, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Guy says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replies, "Well, I bet he won't."

Th guy places a $20 bill on the bar and says, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the man on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde is very upset, but willingly hands her $20 to the guy,
saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

The guy replies, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5
PM news and so I knew he would jump."

The blond replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

_________________
I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me! WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME!?!

For all my blonde sisters out there.......

Can't we hold those brunettes down and remove the dye from their hair?!

Gah, giving us a bad rap.

*Hands Ash the Duct Tape*

_________________
SFC
Michael Larson
Minnesota-USA

A03/TQ1.0.92141E1

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'. Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.' The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. 'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb a$$ put him up there to begin with

_________________

CLAP...CLAP...CLAP

_________________

A12/TQ1.0.22137E1
PVT. Schmaus, Christopher J.
2nd Batt 6th Regt
USS Tahoma