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How to Survive...
http://forum.alienslegacy.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2542		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  Adonis [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:  How to Survive...
A Space-Based horror movie.

So I just picked up a great book, "How to Survive a Horror Movie". Laughed until I cried. So in once chapter they give us suggestions next time we go into deep space...

1 - Never Answer a Distress signal
2 - Never investigate a failure to respond
3 - Never explore an unexplored planet
4 - Never go through a wormhole
5 - Turn on the Lights
6 - Know when to abandon ship (reason #1 is if "Anything pops out of anybody's chest. Whether it's an alien or the Tootsie Roll Owl")
7 - Nuke anything that even remotely creeps you out.

Sounds like words of wisdom to me.
Author:  Tentacle Chris [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Forget chestbursting. If the Tootsie Roll Owl shows up by any means at all... get the hell out of his way!
Author:  Adonis [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
How many licks does it take to get to your juicy brains... let's find out!
Author:  Tentacle Chris [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm not lettin' that s.o.b. count past 3. I know what happens after 3.
Author:  Cpl. Lipni [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some good advice if I ever heard it.
Author:  Sidewinder [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
8. Don't go in to a room full of clinky chains.

SAS
Author:  Adonis [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
There wasn't any mention of clinky chains in the whole book. That works for all horror movies.
Author:  Tentacle Chris [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hahahaha, clinky chains! How could they miss that one. Please tell me fog in it's many, many uses was mentioned.
Author:  Adonis [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Only low lying fog in a graveyard situation.

I'm thinking of using the book as a guide how to write a horror movie that doesn't have the cliches in it...
Author:  Eagle [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
 
Never be the 'new guy' on the away team... ;)
Author:  Tentacle Chris [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
And don't wear red regardless.
Author:  SGM Baldwin [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell it to poor Ensign Darren Stevens. :lol:
Author:  Glenn [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Never go looking for the cat......

Don't split up in to small groups and go wandering off down darkly light corridors.....
:lol:
Author:  Eagle [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Hey, I'm just going to look for it...

... in the liferaft!" :lol:
Author:  Cpl. Lipni [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
"You go ahead and look around, I'm just going to stay in operations...door locked...all the lights on..."
Author:  Harry Harris [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't stop, stare & play with the slime you just found on the floor.

RUN!

Harry
Author:  SSgt Burton [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
When someone instructs you to "run", "move", or "get out of there", whichever direction your instinct immediately tells you to go...

Go the opposite way. :wink:
Author:  SSgt Burton [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh and...

It's in the ceiling.
Author:  Cpl. Lipni [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Or the vent system!
Author:  tommin [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Save your ammo. You are about to get on an elevator!!
Author:  Russ Krook III [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Never:

A) Wear only underwear. Wear clothes. LOTs of them.
B) Have sex.
C) Wonder 'What's taking him/her so long to get back from the bathroom/latrine/head.'

A sure fire death sentence if ever there was one. :)

Russ
Author:  SSgt Burton [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Have sex? :?

As in Dizzy and Rico?

How about never be Michael Ironside- he always ends up dead (usually losing several body parts in the process). :lol:
Author:  Russ Krook III [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you missed the "Never:" at the top of my post. ;)

Never be M.Ironside. Good call on that one. :)

Russ
Author:  SSgt Burton [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:51 am ]
Post subject: 
No no, I understood the "never" part- just trying to recall two sci fi characters that did that and ended up toast. Dizzy was the first to come to mind.

Well... the only one actually. :lol:
Author:  TS826 [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 7:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Never run INTO the woods to "escape".
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