The Recruit Guide to Palming on Nix
Hazing is a noble tradition that fluctuates everywhere according to society’s acceptance of said traditions. Hazing in the military, any military, is even more noble. Or rather, to be fair, ignoble. Sort of. Either way, one such ritual on Nix is the semi-nude, water relay race called ‘Palming’. New recruits who train on Nix eventually must endure this time honored right of passage.
Palming is done very late at night or very early in the morning. First, it must be raining. Second, it must be raining. Third…and this is crucial…it must be raining.
It rains a lot on Nix.
Hazers wake the hazees with a reveille using ‘pipes’. Not bagpipes mind you, but actual sections of pipe. This of course sounds more violent than it actually is, as hazers simply blow loud, obnoxious noises through short sections of pipes and then bang the pipes on the bed frames of the inductees. The inductees are run out of their bunks in whatever they’re lucky enough to be wearing or not wearing (along with their standard issue belt, gun and sidearm) straight into a driving rain. Once in the rain, the inductees are issued a protective set of goggles and fins and are made to ‘run the gauntlet’, which is little more than a drainage ditch of the hazers’ choosing. The Gauntlet must contain copious amounts of mud and water. As they run the length of the gauntlet, hazers ceremonially beat (trip, hamper, taunt) the inductees with palm fronds. Hazers are also free to throw palm fronds at the inductees’ feet, as this also impedes their progress. Inductees are also free to trip-up and hamper the progress of their fellow inductees, for the first to arrive at the end of the gauntlet is crowned with ‘laurels’, laurels being a clean, packaged pair of Colonial Marine standard issue boxers. Once the Ruler of the Gauntlet is crowned (wearing the boxers in whichever way they deem appropriate), the newly ‘crowned’ Ruler must ‘rest on their laurels’ (sit in the ugliest chair provided) while decreeing the ‘noble edict’, which is an order given to the remaining inductees to clean out the Gauntlet and light a ceremonial fire. This is a difficult, but necessary test of their survival skills, but mostly it’s just plain cruel. All inductees must then clean their service pistols by firelight, apart from the Ruler. The Ruler may choose anyone from among the hazers or inductees to have his or her service piece cleaned.
After this, tradition is set aside for revelry and medical attention.
This ritual was first called ‘The Running of the Gauntlet’, but was changed shortly after (about ten minutes after, to be exact). It is now called ‘Palming’, mostly because Raiders find it funny to say such things as, “I was kicked out of bed by my fellow Raiders in the night and they palmed me in the Gauntlet.” It sounds delightfully dirty in mixed, unsuspecting company. Raiders will often talk about palming at parties and social functions until someone makes them stop.
Rulers can sometimes be identified in the ranks, because of the elastic band from the boxers worn as a helmet strap or garter of sorts on armor. Rulers often stencil the title on the band using standard issue name plate lettering with permission.
Tattoos are also not uncommon for those who are Palmed. Many of these will feature the standard palm frond with accompanying, dubious phrases. These examples are not the best or worst of them…
“Frond of Palming”
“Got wet and palmed on Nix”
“Palms 23: My Gauntlet Runneth Over”
“My drill sergeant palmed me”
“Wet-Palmed”
“Palm before the Storm”
Last edited by Yellowjacket on Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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