spoilers spoilers spoilers...
Alright, starting with the story: it sucks. There isn't a single likable, developed character. Captain Cruz has to be the most obnoxious Colonial Marine of all time. His dialogue is awful. Why does he have to keep reminding people what ship they're on at the beginning? So redundant and irritating. Winter, O'Neal, Bella (great name choice..
), and Reid are all boring and annoying as well. I could've cared less when Bella bought it. Hicks is only likable if you're a fan of him in Aliens, but he really doesn't do much in this game and he barely even references the events of the film. The plot itself is completely ridiculous as well. It reminds me a lot of The Thing for PS2 and Xbox back in 2002 I think. The game started out really satisfying and close to the source material, and then deviated in the most convoluted way to include ridiculous locations that were boring. This game is the same way. And even in the film locations, nothing really satisfying happens. The only thing would be the various legendary weapons scattered around, Casey's head...and that's probably it. I listened to one audio recording of Ann Jordan asking for money, that was interesting. To ad insult to the injury of the plot getting convoluted and nonsensical, it's not scary at all! Not only is there nothing scary about the story or the setting, the characters aren't even scared of the Aliens! I was in complete disbelief when Cruz said something like "slippery little fellas aren't they" in reference to the Aliens. Holy shit...no way. Not only is no one frightened by the Aliens, no one even seems to be surprised as to their existence. There's never any question of "who, what, where, when" or anything. Oh, there just so happen to be some monsters on the Sulaco. What's your take on the exploding chest issue? Ridiculous. There is just nothing at all satisfying about this story for a fan of Aliens. Gearbox thinks it should be satisfying to randomly declare Hicks alive and include another model of Bishop in an unimportant and uninteresting role. Wrong, it doesn't work. You can't just dangle a carrot in front of my face and think that's an ok way to treat me. It's not 1992 anymore, we're no longer grieving over Hicks' death. Don't patronize me and put him in the game and then half ass some ridiculous explanation. Not only is it totally incredible that he's alive, Michael Beihn sounds like he's talking in his sleep playing the role. Reminds me of his attitude at HorrorHound in Indianapolis this past September. The one character I thought was really cool to have included in the game was "Michael Weyland" from Alien 3. Too bad he doesn't even get mentioned until the last 15 minutes or so and appears for about 30 seconds. That's the thing that pisses me off. Everything that should be satisfying and cool to include to bring this game closer to the film series is either dealt with terribly or barely at all. The one moment when I almost dropped my controller because of how cool something was lasted for about 20 seconds. When I walked into the jockey chamber, the music was amazing; I couldn't believe it. It was a love letter to Alien's score. Then I shot the jockey in the head and that atmosphere went out the window. To just sum everything up, nothing at all comes to fruition, nothing is explained, nothing makes sense. People raving about Battlestar Galactica writers penning this script either forgot that Battlestar Galactica sucked at the end of its lifespan or didn't care that it did. This game is about as convoluted as the 4th season of that show is, but it takes about an hour for it to reach that point whereas it took the show several years. And don't even get me started on the ending. What a slap in the face to anyone who engaged themselves in the experience.Onto the gameplay. Not interesting, not innovative. It's not even polished. As many have remarked, the AI is abysmal. It's embarrassing. Colonial Marines does not in any way feel like a current generation game at all. It barely even looks like one. The textures on the 360 look like straight shit, or either take so long to load that you have to stare at a surface forever for detail to show. Continuing with my problem regarding the lack of atmosphere and scariness to this game, the Aliens are just bad. In AvP 2010, I was struck by how the Aliens would wait in the dark behind me and sneak up slowly. I'd turn around and shine my light and jump as they attacked, having been discovered. Here, they scream and hiss and run straight at you. No wonder Cruz isn't scared. The facehuggers aren't even scary. They make weird cat noises. I thought it was bad that you could melee the Aliens in AvP when the prompts came up. Well, great, here they are again. Last time I saw someone get attacked by an Alien in one of the movies and hit it with their gun was...never. How much more can you cheapen this monster and reduce it to an embarrassing opponent than to allow meleeing to stop their attacks? Oh, wow, there's more. When the Alien pounces on you...you press a button fast and kick it off, because you know, it's too stupid to impale you with it's tail and it's weak enough to be held back by a human. And the Facehuggers? Didn't it take two or three people to help Ripley get it away from her face? Well, Corporal Winter is a real badass it seems. I was on the fence at first about the weapons, but now I have a definite opinion. I'm pissed that the smartgun and flamethrower are reduced to maybe 2 or 3 appearances each in this game. When I play a Colonial Marines game I want freaking Colonial Marine weapons. I don't give a shit about the battle rifle, SMG, assault rifle, or the two superflous shotguns. One thing I disagree with AngryJoe on in his review is these new weapons. They're so awfully designed it makes me want to scream. I could've scribbled them on a napkin that's how bland they are. Why would I even want to use them? Oh, because they're better than the Pulse Rifle? They actually are. I want the damn weapons from Aliens. And wow...you can put one of those reflex sights on a Pulse Rifle, Call of Duty style. Real creative there. In 2179 we still use the same sights on our assault rifles. The fact that you can carry every weapon all at once takes away a lot of the drama as well. You're just a walking armory fighting idiotic enemies.
The multiplayer is actually somewhat fun, I'll give it that, although playing as the Alien is frustrating for the wrong reasons. When I swing my tail at someone in survival mode, nothing happens. I'm not sure if they're taking damage or what. There isn't even any blood. The wall climbing mechanic is AWFUL. I have no idea what the need is for it to be in 3rd person either as I feel like it makes timing the B button kills a little more difficult. I haven't yet been able to play escape mode, hosts are constantly quitting out of games that they're losing. This happened in survival as we were about to win. Oops, host left the game; screw you. There needs to be a penalty for that type of thing in the XP department. Playing as the Marine is entertaining enough. I enjoy using Ripley's Pulse Rifle/Flamethrower combo a lot. Apone's character has a lot of entertaining lines he spews out, although it doesn't sound like Al Matthews at all. Mark Rolston told me at HorrorHound that he did indeed voice his character for the game, but I really can't tell. He doesn't really say all that much, although I haven't played with someone else playing as him, just me so far. Hudson is kind of a waste of space. If he says any quotes from the film, which is what he needs to do, I haven't heard any. Hicks is probably the best as Beihn's voice is really distinct and he talks a lot more. I wish they would've tracked down Jenette Goldstein though, come on! "Let's rock!" would've been awesome! Or Frost, "What're we supposed to use man, harsh language?" Or Gorman? I'm sure any of these actors would've done the job if asked. This is nitpicking on my part though as it was a pre-order bonus. But still, there just isn't enough in this game period that satisfies me as a fan of the film, and it breaks my heart.